on behalf of the 48%

I apologize for trying to watch a cable program that I knew would exploit 52% of the population by objectifying the sexy .02% of the population.


I apologize for not paying the premium cable channel for the dubious privilege of participating in their exploitation and objectification of all women everywhere.


I apologize both to women and the premium cable channel that I then tried to watch the blurry images after not paying for the crisp clean version of the images.


I apologize for doing so many screen captures of the scrambled versions of the intellectual property of the unpaid premium cable channel.


I apologize for wondering if I get to take back some of my apology to all women since I didn't actually remunerate the premium cable channel for their exploitative objectification .

I would also like to apologize that my shameful erotic preferences are so heteronormative. I realize I should also exploit and objectify men, especially since I wouldn't have to apologize for that quite so much.