The Blog Look

1. I thank Burger King for helping me tweak some of the fonts and layout of this here blog.

2. I apologize for thanking him on a blog dedicated to apologies, not gratitude.

Schiavo, K-Dog, Savage, and Palmer

Okay, like, eh, I apologize, eh, for telling K-dog that her position on Schiavo is a bit embarrassing, eh, because it's similar to the comments of that Morton-Downey-Jr.-esque idiot Michael Savage without also noting that my own view (2) on Schiavo is uncomfortably close to the perspective of the obsessed PC egalitarian Tom Palmer.

I also apologize, eh, for pointing out elsewhere, eh, Palmer's childish, petulant refusal to link to Bumper Hornberger's LewRockwell.com article.

And also for, like, descending into Kanuck-speak, eh?

Law Students

I apologize for my patent lawyer buddy Steve Mendelsohn having been such an a**hole in law school.

atom feed!

Just fixed the feed for this site.... due to a glitch, when I moved it from blogspot it was still putting the feed there. Now it's working.

Cops 'n pigs

I may have never uttered the words "kill cops", but I used to refer to cops as being "pigs" all the time. I must apologize for that, both to actual pigs and to pig lovers. It was really insensitive for me to sully the clean (well, mostly) reputation of our pink critter pals.

On that note, I must also apologize for enjoying the wonderful taste of roasted, fried, baked, or grilled pig. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed quite a bit of bacon yesterday, so an apology is definitely in order. Damn those pigs are good! (I know, I know... sorry again)

Sorry to be so scary

I must also apologize to BKMARCUS, seems I scared him the first day on the site. I knew my views were unique but certainly never thought them to be "scary".

In actuality, with but a few very notable exceptions, you may find my viewpoint to have a very strong libertarian leaning.

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem
El Cid

High School

I apologize for referring to my school administration as fascist after they caused me to miss a day of AP calculus and AP english to take a standardized test (that serves no purpose beside determining my school's funding).

Terry Schiavo

I have noticed that throughout the din of controversy about the Terry Schiavo case, no one seems to be asking the obvious question: is she a Democrat, or not? That, of course, has bearing on the legitimacy of killing her.

I really apologize for that one.

dreadful sorry

I would like to apologize for preferring the term paleoliberal to all the other paleo alternatives. I would like to apologize for my profound suspicion toward paleoconservatives and conservatives of pretty much every other prefix. I apologize for not having any conservative friends. And I apologize for still having leftist friends. No really, I do. Apologize, I mean. I would like to apologize to anyone reading this blog for the presence of El Cid, and I would like to apologize to El Cid for singling him out. (But honestly, El Cid, you scare me. I apologize.)

I also apologize for using "sorry" as a noun and for using "dreadful" to mean full-of-dread.

Driviling, Sniviling Apologies

I must publicly apologize that I was fortunate enough to grow up in a nation that professes to love liberty and that I am dim enough to actually believe in the idea of liberty. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and for this I ought to be punished. I am a Christian and for this I ought to be crucified. My Paleo-Conservative ideologies are surely offensive to many and for this I must apologize. My occasional Libertarian leanings are no doubt offensive to others.

I have the insane notion that a man should get no more than he earns in life and the government or anyone else is responsible for my or anyone else’s well being, shame on me. I think the Constitution is pretty plainly written and needs no interpretation, how naive of me.

I sincerely apologize to all of the Neo-conic empire builders for all the times I have called you horrible names like; “murder’, “tyrant” and yes I dare say “goose stepping Nazis”. I also apologize to liberals for calling you terrible names like; “nanny”, “fruits” and dare I say again “panty-waisted goose stepping Nazis”.

Many more to follow…

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem
El Cid

Greetings

To begin, I apologize for being white, male, heterosexual, protestant, and libertarian. I also apologize for recommending Thomas Woods' book in my blog and repeatedly comparing the Federal Government to the Mafia.

Welcome to the Daily Apology! (again)

Welcome to the Daily Apology! An offshoot of my libertarian blog, it was Burger King Marcus's idea that I do a separate blog here. Email me if you want permission to blog. Or just comment!

THE DAILY APOLOGY MOVED

PLEASE NOTE: The Daily Apology has been moved to its own domain, www.DailyApology.com. All posts have been relocated to the new site for The Daily Apology.

Hail Satan Apology

I would like to apologize for marrying a Satanist.

(That's Satanist, not Statist! I do have some standards.)

I hope you believe me when I insist that I knew nothing of this when we signed the pre-nup.

Gizoogle

I apologize for thinking the new search engine, Gizoogle, is funny. It's "Fo all you beotches who wanna find shiznit." Example of gizoogle's version of the 10 Commandments:

Thou shalt not kizzy.
Thou shalt not commit adultery crazy up in here.
Thou shizzay not steal.
Thou S-H-to-tha-izzalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour n' shit.

Hey Jude:

Hey jude, don’t makes it bad.
Takes a sad S-to-tha-izzong n makes it rappa ta let hustla into yo heart,
Then you can S-T-to-tha-izzart ta makes it rappa jude, don’t be afraid.
You were made ta go out n get ha.
The minute you let pushas unda yo skin,
Then you begin ta makes it betta.

Printer paper

I apologize for taking paper from the large photocopier's paper drawer when my desk printer at work runs out, instead of opening up a new ream of paper my own self.

flesh-colored crayons

I would like to apologize for thinking that the crayons marked Peach were really flesh-colored.

I used them to color my pictures of myself and I used the crayons marked Brown to color my pictures of my friend Floyd.

I would also like to apologize if I ever thought the crayons marked Indian Red might have been referring to Red Indians.

Willie Horton

When I was growing up, on occasion a face like Willie Horton's would be shown on the news. My Dad, never one to spout racist epithets, would sometimes quietly mutter under his breath, a bit disgusted and sarcastic, "That's intelligent."

I apologize for not running away from home to teach him a lesson.

Gay word

I apologize for feeling a bit gay on those rare occasions when I find the need to use the word meniscis.

Initial apologies from the new guy

I'd like to start off by thanking Stephan and BK for inviting me to the party. For those who object to yet another addition to the anti-dimwit-serioso artillery, please accept my apology.

To continue with the music chat going on today, I must confess that I'm currently listening to the music of Fela Kuti. More specifically, I'm listening to an album called Expensive Shit. Yes, that's right, the word shit is included in the title, and I must apologize for sharing that information with you. I apologize to the puritan sorts who clicked on that link, only to discover an album cover full of some of God's most wonderful creations, otherwise known as breasts.

I also apolgize for listening to an artist who once created a polygamist colony and was known for being sexist. To those who engage in the whole degrees of Kevin Bacon, guilt-by-association mindset, I must seem to be sexist myself. I assure you all that I am not, and apologize for any confusion sparked by my post.

Combo Number 5

Gil, that egg song was spooky in a dorky Asian sort of way. I confess to--nay, apologize for--having played repeatedly this catchy tune, Combo Number 5. Also, I find the background music on this employment law firm site to be mesmerizing; sometimes I let it repeat for hours while I work. Again, for this, I apologize. To hear it, click here, then click "Intro to WEMED."

Jonah Goldberg and Bigotry

Despite our differences, there are some things that I stand in solidarity with Tom Palmer on. For example, I'm sure he was outraged by Jonah Goldberg's homophobic joke, and I condemn it as well. Indeed, Jonah: Apologize. (Although, maybe Palmer has forgiven him already, since both NRO and Cato are now allies--e.g., both are pro-state and anti-Rothbard. I kid, I kid!) The joke appeared in the Goldberg File:

The angry libertarians are still writing in. Let me be clear: Some of my best friends are libertarians. I voted for the libertarian candidate in 1992. The Overlord of National Review himself, William F. Buckley Jr., describes himself a "libertarian journalist." I'd let my daughter marry a libertarian (this of course discounts, rightly, the many off-color jokes about libertarian sexual preferences one hears from time to time in Washington. Such as the one about the wag who dropped his wallet at the Cato Institute and had to kick it all the way to Brookings before he'd pick it up). But should it be shocking that libertarians bring a different perspective to public-policy issues?

Bad Jokes

I told Jeff Tucker this joke: imagine a feminist fast food joint, w/ a big sign, "don't you patronize me!"

• I thought it was funny, but he said "is that the only joke you ever made up?" So, I apologize for it, and for the following:
• When someone calls me a moron, I say, "better than being a less-on"
• I often look at my wife, and say, "Cindy, would you marinate me? I'm sorry, I cantaloupe."
• Or when we approach the doors of a shop, I'll grab the door and jiggle it as if it's locked, and look back at her like, "I guess they're closed." Right after she gets a crestfallen look on her face, I open the door and walk inside, and she goes, "Catholic High."
• Another favorite of mine is when we walk across a parking lot or down a sidewalk, I get that secret service agent look on my face, all stern, eyes darting back and forth, and I sort of walk backwards, circle her, hold up my hand as if to direct her, etc., as if to usher her into a safety, holding up my hands against traffic, etc. Totally geekazoid. She hates it.

Palmer on the Japs

I apologize for my fellow libertarian, dimwit-Serioso Tom Palmer's, racist mocking of Japanese.

smelly bums

I apologize for banning smelly readers from the ly-berry.

Nihilistic Apology

I apologize for berating nihilistic nihilists by mocking their fanciful world-of-make-believe.

I apologize for trying to convince others that convincing others is worthwhile.

on behalf of the 48%

I apologize for trying to watch a cable program that I knew would exploit 52% of the population by objectifying the sexy .02% of the population.


I apologize for not paying the premium cable channel for the dubious privilege of participating in their exploitation and objectification of all women everywhere.


I apologize both to women and the premium cable channel that I then tried to watch the blurry images after not paying for the crisp clean version of the images.


I apologize for doing so many screen captures of the scrambled versions of the intellectual property of the unpaid premium cable channel.


I apologize for wondering if I get to take back some of my apology to all women since I didn't actually remunerate the premium cable channel for their exploitative objectification .

I would also like to apologize that my shameful erotic preferences are so heteronormative. I realize I should also exploit and objectify men, especially since I wouldn't have to apologize for that quite so much.

Wang Apology

I apologize for having a wang and for using it on occassion.

I apologize for calling the unisex wash room, the misogynistic heteroname: "Men's Room."

I apologize in advance for using the terms "man," "woman," "sex," "penis," "testes," "mojo," and "circlejerk."

eurocentric foot-in-mouth

I apologize for my ancestors killing all those Indians with guns, booze, and blankets -- even though my ancestors hadn't yet come to North America when any of that happened. (But the people who did the Indian-killing sort of looked like my ancestors, and I apologize for the resemblance.)

And I'm sorry I just referred to Native Americans as Indians.

In fact, I'm sorry I ever called anyone an "Indian giver" when I clearly should have called them a "Native American giver" instead.

Misogynistic Post

I apologize for this post, which objectifies beautiful female breasts.

Feminist Joke

I apologize for telling the following joke:
Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: That's not funny. That's really not funny.

Palmer Apology

I also apologize for my fellow libertarian, Tom Palmer's, hypersensitivity and extreme, irrational, unfair anti-Southern bias.

Lesbo Apology

Today, I would like to apologize for having watched every episode of The L Word.

Lawyer apology

I also apologize for being a lawyer. And, er..., for being a self-hating lawyer. And... for stealing the "self-hating" term from the dimwit-Seriosos.

Daily White Hetero Souther Male Apology

Ported over from my StephanKinsella.com blog...

Daily White Hetero Southern Male Apology: I apologize today for being white. I apologize to Tom Palmer and his dimwit-Serioso ilk for having a sense of humor, and for not having a stick up my ass. I apologize for the Holocaust and slavery. I apologize for not apologizing earlier, and for any deficiencies of this apology. I apologize for being a neoConfederate even though I am not one. And I better apologize for not being a neoConfederate too, just to cover all bases. I apologize for not being a bigot, and for defending people who are not bigots from false charges of bigotry.

Please help me think of things to apologize for, since we must ever appease our fellow dimwit-Serioso libertarians and other totalitarian-minded dimwits.

Welcome to the Daily Apology!

Welcome to the Daily Apology! An offshoot of my libertarian blog, it was Burger King Marcus's idea that I do a separate blog here. Email me if you want permission to blog. Or just comment!