Have mercy on my soul

I would like to apologize for being from Louisiana and not liking crawfish or Tabasco, for being hispanic and not having rhythm and thinking that Alberto Gonzales should be cleaning my house or better yet, making me a chalupa. I apologize for using Linux yet pinching my geek friends' brains for being closet socialists. Also, while I am not a graphic designer or homosexual, I like Apple computers. Finally, for today at least, I apologize for having a pistol with a 17-round mag, and that sadly, I don't (yet) put it under my pillow when I sleep.