When someone disagrees with me, or sometimes just randomly, I'll tell someone, "don't you backtalk me in public!" Usually in a private conversation. Sort of puts them off balance.
I also like this: someone says, "Stephan, will you..." and I cut them off, "Don't you call me Stephan!" Usually stuns them, so they wonder for just a microsecond if they have my name wrong.
Also, when I go shopping w/ the wife, if I have my sunglasses on, as we walk across the parking lot or into a store, I circle around her and hold my hand up to block traffic and people, and scan around like an owl, playing Secret Service man. Wife hates it.
Sometimes, when we approach a restaturant, as I grab the door, I shake it as if it's locked, and give her a crestfallen look. Then she shakes her head and says, "Catholic High"
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