Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Another AP Government Apology

I apologize for, to the shock of all but two of my classmates, saying I do not support government aid to widows with children, even in the situation existing in 1935. I'm sorry for believing that theft is wrong no matter to whom one gives the stolen money.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Mises Institute apology

I must apologize for being a fan of the Mises Institute. Why? Well, it seems that some people, who are clearly distracted by various strawmen, equate the Mises Institute with being pro-slavery, pro-Baathist, and in collusion with leftists who have a warped definition of capitalism. In their eyes, I must be one sick puppy, so as long as they see things this way I feel as though I should apologize to at least make them feel more at ease as they continue to praise the leash that binds them.

The two books that I ordered from the Mises Institute book store during their sale arrived today. With both Making Economic Sense and Wall Street, Banks, and American Foreign Policy now sitting on my desk, I have plenty of Rothbard's wisdom to keep me occupied for the next few weeks. Of course, the latter book, when you think about it's title, must mean that Austrian economists and their admirers are just delusional leftists in disguise. Sorry for confusing people by advancing ideas that conflict with conventional statist logic.

stuff I don't get

Gene Healy passes on to me the Caesar's Bath meme.

I apologize for not understanding the fuss over:

1. Watching Professional Sports

I can understand watching your kid play in little league, or playing a pick-up game of basketball. I can even (sort of) understand watching your Alma Mater's team. But rooting for a professional team of overpaid (so I say) kids throw around a ball? Seems like a boring waste of time.

2. The Aesthetic Values of Cars

My wife and my best friend from college like cars. That is, they get excited by the look of a car. I get excited about the fact that my Honda Odyssey has a fold-down back seat that lets me fit a whole sheet of plywood from Home Depot.

3. The Allure of Gambling

My best friend from college likes to gamble like some people like to golf. At least golfing includes walking around in beautiful landscape.

4. Smoking

Why would you at one and the same time claim that chiefly the lower classes smoke and smoke cigars regularly? Leave it to Normie, the lowest-class high class guy I know.

5. Blogging

Don't you people have better things to do with your time than blather on about inconsequential crap? Oh, nevermind.

Thursday, April 21, 2005


I apologize for having a deep, abiding, and irrational hatred of anyone who uses the words "polity" or "ontological," or variants thereof. Or "gnosticism." I just want to kick their teeth in.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

grab a partner, dosey doh!

When I told a certain paleolibertarian blogger that my former partner and I had looked into online backup services when we were considering competing with them, he said, "partner? what are you a faggot???"

So I apologize for thinking the unmodified noun 'partner' ought to refer to someone you are in business with -- or at least someone with whom you are collaborating on a project -- and not be assumed to designate romantic partner or domestic partner.

I apologize that when people say "partner" to indicate a girlfriend or boyfriend, I want them to say girlfriend or boyfriend or at least be specific enough to say "romantic partner" -- as stiff as that sounds, it's not much stiffer than "partner" unmodified.

I apologize for supporting gay marriage just so that gay people will say husband or wife and not partner. (I encourage them to do so now, if it's applicable, and to stop feeling like they need the State to grant them permission!)

I apologize for noticing that the straight people who use the term partner to designate what was once euphamized as "significant other" are usually academics or leftists in the "public" (i.e., government) or not-for-profit sectors. I think this particular bit of language banditry is the result, among other things, of being so anti-business as to not know anyone actually in business and not caring about communicating successfully with such people.

I apologize for being so insensitive on this issue, for not caring about all the complexities behind choosing contemporary non-sexist and non-heteronormative language. I apologize for being so sexist and heteronormative for believing that clarity of communication was easier before everyone undertook the value-neutralizing language-update game.

And finally, I want to apologize that this issue actually pisses me off when a healthier and more mature individual might just find it amusing and learn to adjust.


I apologize for being quite annoyed by these irritating yuppies -- usually a white male professional in his 30s or 40s -- who continually brag about how fast they drive. If you ask them, "How long does it take to get there?" they will say, "oh, two hours," but then they add, with a proud sparkle in their eye, "--the way I drive, anyway!" What are these morons implying? That they have the magical ability to avoid traffic congestion, construction, traffic lights? That they just merrily drive 20 mph over the speed limit and never get caught? That they don't mind getting a traffic ticket? My suspicion is that most of these lunkheads are either lying, stupid, or exaggerating. And if they are telling the truth, that means they are signficantly speeding and thus posing a hazard to the rest of us.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Favorite Presidents

I apologize for telling my Ap Government teacher that my favorite president is William Henry Harrison, because he died before he could do any damage to the country.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Ebeling on Antisemitism

A heartfelt apology for the faux paus of my fellow libertarian and Austrian, Dr. Richard Ebeling, President of the Foundation for Economic Education, for having the audacity to write on "Mises's analysis of the basis of anti-Semitism in the interwar period in Europe, and the fate of the Austrian Jews" in his article Ludwig von Mises and the Vienna of His Time (part 1). Of course, non-Jews have no right to have any opinion about anti-Semitism (except that they can't adhere to it), just as men have no right to an opinion on abortion and so on.

Woops--here I am, myself, a non-Jew, writing in an indirect way about anti-semitism. I apologize for my hypocrisy.

And waitasec--how do I know Ebeling is not Jewish. Maybe he is. I deeply apologize for having wondered about it, now.

Wife and Magazines

I apologize for continuing to tease my wife, every couple months, for almost 10 years now, about the time she fell for a telephone magazine subscription salesman's pitch and ended up ordering $1000 worth of magazine subscriptions. She thought it was $29 one-time fee for around 15 to 20 magazine subscriptions, but it turned out it was a monthly fee for a 2 or 3 year term, amounting to about $1000. I got it canceled but have yet to let her live it down. Now anytime we get a magazine offer or something, I always annoyingly caution her not to agree if the price is more than $500.


Wendy McElroy's excellent column, Disability Must Be Defined Before Debated, leads me to wonder about the following. Disabled advocates always get offended if disabled people are treated differently; even acknowleding they are disabled is considered offensive, hence the emergence of the stupid term "other-abled." Well, I agree! But why stop with those other-sited or other-legged in wheelchairs--what about the dead? Just because the person's body is inert and mouldering in a grave is no excuse to "label" them as no longer part of civilization. Why don't the other-animated have the right to vote? It's blatant discrimination to not let dead people vote.

Why stop there? What about those who never existed? What about all the kids I could have had if I had mated with more women and/or used less birth control? Their (sadly, never-formed) voices need to be heard! I say: give dead and non-existent people the right to vote and all other civil rights, too. It is the conceit of the living to think we are special. It is living-ism, or... existing-ism.

Of course, I apologize for this observation.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Laughing at Kinsella Apology

I apologize for laughing at Kinsella's wikipedia difficulties. See the "talk page" and the "history" page.

On a related note, I apologize to Kinsella's faithful blog readers who were misdirected to the Internet Movie Database page for "The Jerk, Too", a shitty made for TV movie, rather than for "The Jerk" while they were reading his blog post about the Wikipedia entry that is the subject of this post.

Sunday, April 10, 2005


I apologize for never having recycled a single time in the seven years I've lived in my City--the logo of which is the recycling logo. The blue bin they gave me when I moved in sits in a corner of my garage, collecting dust.

I also apologize for letting you, gentle reader, down, but not actually publishing an apology daily. I only hope that this post counts twice, so we are covered for tomorrow.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Poodle Grooming

I apologize for spending about $230 every 6 or so weeks to get my 2 standard poodles groomed. And for sleeping with both of them. And for shelling out about 4 grand a couple years ago to switch to a king-size bed, since the two poodle-horses were just too big for wife and me in the queen size bed.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Bad Email Etiquette

Today I received an email from the secretary of a former law school classmate (whose name I don't even remember). The Secretary included over a hundred email addresses--presumably those of the alumni of LSU Law Class of 1991--in the cc line, and said:

"Ms. Donna Unkel Grodner has requested that I set up email addresses for the LSU Alumni of 1991. Please advise if you have received this email. Thank you"

The email included that stupid frilly green leaf border that some jackasses use in their email.

I replied--to all--as follows:

"Big Daddy has received it. Big Daddy dislikes stationery backgrounds in email messages, even more than he dislikes when people put their sign-off email signature in a script font. Far worse are people who reply to all. "

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Jennings, Carson, White Trash, and Smoking

I apologize for thinking of smokers--particularly young Americans--as being white trash, blue-collar (at best) losers. Smokers are definitely low-class in America, at least among the young:
A stark gap emerges, however, if you compare elites from both countries. In America, where cigarettes now have a loser image, only about one-tenth of those with college and graduate degrees smoke, compared to about 40 percent of high-school dropouts. But in France, nearly a third of upper-income earners smoke, a slightly higher percentage than in the lower classes.
And I apologize for immediately suspecting celebrities who die of or are diagnosed with lung cancer or emphysema as being said loser smokers. Celebrities are often rich because they are entertaining of have good voices, but often they are just otherwise lower-class, almost illiterate morons (witness Madonna, Alec Baldwin, Robert Downey Jr., Roseanne, Rosie Perez; even Bill Maher, though he is smart, is very uneducated). When Johnny Carson died a few months back, I immediatly suspected he was a smoker, and of, he was. Now we hear that Peter Jennings has lung cancer -- of course, because he, too, used to be a smoker. So I apologize for not feeling (very) sorry for those who come down with a self-inflicted disease, or for thinking they are basically white-trash. (I also apologize to Karen for thinking Harley riders are also low-class, as a rule.)

Palmer's Compliment

I apologize for initially taking umbrage at Tom Palmer's comment that I am "one of the dimmer bulbs on the [Lew] Rockwell chandelier". As "Vache Folle" points out, this " is hardly an insult. There are a lot of high wattage bulbs there, and it would take a lot of intellectual incandescense (or fluorescence?) to outshine them. Maybe you should thank Palmer for the compliment."

Monday, April 04, 2005

Chris Rock on Cops Beating Blacks

I noted previously Palmer's ridiculous , dour, humorless, dimwit-Serioso comments about Lew Rockwell's views on the Rodney King beating and related matters. I just came across this hilarious Chris Rock video, "How To Not Get Your Ass Kicked By The Police" (download a-beating.wmv; source 2). Yeah yeah, Mr. Palmer, I'm sure it's "racist" to think this video be funny. Yawwwnnnnn. YAWWNNNN.

Anyway, I guess I should apologize for thinking its funny. and for saying "be funny" above.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Da Pope and Protestants

I apologize for feeling a small, guilty pleasure at the thought that many Protestants, especially thumpers, grit their teeth in irritation when the Pope, even in death, continues to get all this media attention. They hate those outfits--not to mention the one billion followers--but feel compelled to muffle their ridicule and to pretend to "respect" a "man of peace" etc.